You know you’re a writer when…

I have these moments when I know I’m a writer.

It doesn’t have to do with being published or blog stats or even word count.

It’s about the way I look at the world and interpret it through the lens of a writer.

The first time it hit me I was a writer was when I was having my cavity filled. I’m a huge wimp when it comes to the dentist so I opted to have laughing gas. And it left me feeling a little more than drunk. I was eerily calm, but floating.  This occurred right around the time I was working on a weird trippy scene. I’d been struggling for weeks on how to capture the feeling for my main character.

And laughing gas was it. Even though everything was fuzzy I kept forcing myself to remember this feeling for the scene.

I knew I was a writer when I was underwater. It was during one of the hottest Texas summer days and I held my breath as I  kicked around under the water. I made sure to remember the image of a body being still underwater. I ended up writing a poem about it. And getting it published.

Writers struggle with so much self doubt along their writing journey. It’s good to have place markers to remind us that being a writer is more than the numbers. It’s about seeing the world through a different lens.

The following list may or may not include things I do or have done.  You decide or DON’T decide.


Without further ado, you know you’re a writer when,

You find yourself taking notes of the conversation rhythms at family functions

A day without writing is like a day without breathing

You goggle apartment listings in other cities to figure out where your characters would live

You daydream of what it would be like to hang out with your main character

You can hear your characters talking to you when you neglect them/try to force them to do something out of character

You’ve actually said to someone, “What’s their motivation?” in trying to understand someone.

The following sentence makes sense to you: I’m rewriting the MC Arc in my WIP so I can query later.

You choreograph scenes with french fries or other food items

You think of different sexual positions for your scenes instead of for pleasure

Your cat meows at you when you’re typing because you’re paying more attention to the laptop than to him.


What do you do that makes you realize you’re a writer? Leave it in the comments.







Why I struggle with writing love scenes

Underwater Romance 2


I struggle to write love scenes. Most people I’ve come across who struggle, struggle because they get embarrassed. Writing the genitalia and actions makes their cheeks blush. They get nervous thinking about what their mother/father/grandma would think of them if they read what they wrote.

Not me.

I struggle with capturing the emotional side. I’m perfectly fine with names and actions. It’s the inner thoughts of the characters, what they are feeling other than the physical side. What thoughts are going through their head?

But tonight I think I may have actually captured it. Music always helps me write and tonight I played “Myth” by Beach House. It perfectly captured the thoughts racing through my character’s head.

I created a mental checklist:

1) Where are my characters at emotionally in their relationship right now?

2) What is at stake if they make love?

3) What fears/hope does my main character have? What does she want to happen after the lovemaking has ended? What does she fear most after it?

4) What things does she dare not say out loud but quietly wishes for? Since this is first person point of view, I can go deep into her psyche.

I think it created the right mix of action and emotion. I’ll see once I send it off to the beta readers/critique group.

Another thing I struggle with love scenes is the choreography. I could use my husband to help me but I think that would only hinder my creative process.  Not the best way to concentrate but it is an otherwise good use of time. 🙂

What tricks or tools do you use to choreograph a scene? Do you draw it? Map it out beforehand?

What kind of scene do you most struggle with?