Why I struggle with writing love scenes

Underwater Romance 2


I struggle to write love scenes. Most people I’ve come across who struggle, struggle because they get embarrassed. Writing the genitalia and actions makes their cheeks blush. They get nervous thinking about what their mother/father/grandma would think of them if they read what they wrote.

Not me.

I struggle with capturing the emotional side. I’m perfectly fine with names and actions. It’s the inner thoughts of the characters, what they are feeling other than the physical side. What thoughts are going through their head?

But tonight I think I may have actually captured it. Music always helps me write and tonight I played “Myth” by Beach House. It perfectly captured the thoughts racing through my character’s head.

I created a mental checklist:

1) Where are my characters at emotionally in their relationship right now?

2) What is at stake if they make love?

3) What fears/hope does my main character have? What does she want to happen after the lovemaking has ended? What does she fear most after it?

4) What things does she dare not say out loud but quietly wishes for? Since this is first person point of view, I can go deep into her psyche.

I think it created the right mix of action and emotion. I’ll see once I send it off to the beta readers/critique group.

Another thing I struggle with love scenes is the choreography. I could use my husband to help me but I think that would only hinder my creative process.  Not the best way to concentrate but it is an otherwise good use of time. 🙂

What tricks or tools do you use to choreograph a scene? Do you draw it? Map it out beforehand?

What kind of scene do you most struggle with?